Leaving Sutton

On November 17, 2008, I posted the following to Facebook: "have a big decision to make. unemployed in maine or employed in nebraska?"

At the time, not having a job where I was, was arguably a better situation than having a job in Nebraska.

I stewed over the offer. How and why was a paper in small town Nebraska the only one to get back to me, let alone offer me a job, out of the 100s of job applications I sent out? It seemed a cruel prank by the universe. "Yeah, you want a job? Here! You just have to go to a town of 1,500 people in nowhere Nebraska to claim it." I sought the advice of my professors and discussed it with friends and family.

Here's what one of my professors advised: "You have to think of yourself as a pioneer. Seriously; just think of when your people left Europe for the USA.  They had no idea what was coming but they needed work and opportunity presented itself in the New World.  You really are no different from those who came before you.  You actually have it much easier as airplanes, telephones etc. make this far less wrenching than anything our European forebearers experienced.  Just remember my old mantra when I went to North Dakota.  It is only for a year.  Like the Peace Corps or prison."

Another had a slew of mixed pros, cons and neutrals, like: Pros: "If you really can use your multimedia skills -- and improve them -- then this would be a fertile training ground"; "The economy is lousy and getting worse. A job is a job"; and "The one sector of the news industry that has weathered the digital storm the best is the weekly newspaper sector". Cons: "The culture shock will be remarkable. You'll arrive as winter hits. You won't know a soul -- and everyone else will be old friends" and "You'll have to start from scratch in building your living situation. Starting with finding a bed". and Neutrals: "It's the right moment in your life for a big adventure, but conventional wisdom suggests that it needs to last a year or so to look good on a resume" and "Every young woman in southern Nebraska -- especially if she wants to leave the state  -- is going to be interested in you. This is a 'neutral' because you may not be interested in all of them.  Proceed with caution unless you're in a hurry to get married. It's a red state."

This advice was oddly helpful. (And incredibly entertaining in hindsight). Best friend Sarah's contribution proved especially true. "And who knows", she said, "you might end up loving it!"

 I took the job, with every intention of putting in my one year. "Like the Peace Corps or prison." Get in, get experience, get the hell out.

But I had no idea what I was getting into. I figured my best plan was to just hit the ground running and completely dive into my new surroundings. Knowing not a single sole and having nothing to do outside work, I immersed myself into whatever I could. And, eventually, after getting through the inevitable cry-yourself-to-sleep nights, I, just as the prophetic Sarah claimed, ended up loving it.

I helped lift a newspaper to the top of its class two years running, contributed to numerous individual awards and received incredible honors, but far more importantly, I have become a part of a great community. I have acted, sung, volunteered, photographed, written, produced, directed, coached, hosted, golfed, bowled and loved, to the best of my ability, my way into the community. And that, to me, is the greatest joy, and the greatest sense of pride, of all.

One year turned into two years, which turned into three years, and now here I am, more than five-and-a-half years later, finally saying that goodbye.

Shea and I had come to the realization that we were ready for a change – of scenery, of opportunity and of adventure. We looked out-of-state for her first job and found one. Kenwood High School in Essex, Maryland offered her a job, and we accepted. We move her out tomorrow.

It has been, is, and will be incredibly hard to leave this job and this community. I'm sure that my leaving, to a degree, will make people think otherwise. But I hope that my leaving does not at all negate the time that I have spent here and my genuine appreciation and enjoyment of that time. I hope that this move will not be about the leaving, necessarily, but about the going. We are going for a first job for Shea. We are going for a new adventure. We are going to create something new and wholly ours as a newlywed couple. And we are going to discover what more there is for us to do, by expanding the things that we have been able to do here.

I do not have a job lined up yet. I wanted to lead with Shea's job search first. She has always been sort of one step behind me since we have known each other, always being seen as Moody's girlfriend, Moody's fiancé and Moody's wife. I am excited that now she has the opportunity to be one step in front of me and has the chance to have her own "Sutton".

I will be flying back to Nebraska on Sunday and will work through the last two issues of August and then drive Tammy out to Baltimore. I will hit the job trail hard once I settle and we will see just what kind of oyster the world will be for me now.

There is far too much to say about all of this, and I hope to someday turn "Leaving Sutton" into a memoir, which will be able to say it all. In short, thank you to everyone who has helped me so far and been a part of this journey. It's time to travel a new road.

on grrr

so i get a call from the sheriff yesterday morning saying that he came across what he thought would be a good photo opp. while cruising around, he happened across 8 bald eagles snacking on the remains of a deer. now this is cool, not so much for the deer being eaten, but because, c'mon.. 8 bald eagles in one place. awesome?!

so i took a cruise down to where he saw them and, by the time i got there, there were only two left. good enough, i thought. don't think i've even seen two in one place before. however, i may have closed my car door a little too loudly and they flew off into a tree in the distance. damn.

i'll be heading back toward that direction today, so i'll try to swing by again and see if they're still around. apparently they've been there the last couple days, so maybe there's a little bit of deer left to pick at.

went to a lion's club meeting last night. one of the foreign exchange students in sutton, jesse from new zealand (i've yet to ask him about 'flight of the conchords' but it's only a matter of time), presented a new zealand lion's club flag to the members because his dad is a lion there. kinda neat. we were also serenaded by the all-girls sutton show-choir. i think there was more of them performing than people they were performing for. which might have made it a little weird for them. they sounded good, though. they've got some good voices.

[sidenote: at lions club meetings.. when they take role call.. or have a vote.. they respond with a 'grrr.' which is kinda lame, but also pretty sweet.]

had bowling last night. cian returned from a broken hand that has kept him out for the past almost two months and still kicked my ass. i beat my average, though, so i pulled my weight.

minden tonight for girls conference basketball. evenings off are hard to come by. which is fine except when you have laundry and other around-the-house things to do. ah, well.

on hitting the "becaaame"

a quick les mis update:

i've been in rehearsing the last three days so towards the end of it last night, some notes got tough to hit. however, my 'empty chairs at empty tables' is actually sounding pretty good.

last night i worked with the guys playing enjolras and valjean, piecing together some of the scenes we're all in. and jason's (valjean) 'bring him home' sounds fantastic. so at least there will be a few songs that will be solid.

enjolras, on the other hand, i feel needs to change a bit. right now he's singing mid-high range. not saying it sounds bad, because it sounds alright, just a little too pretty for the character. he's supposed to be the leader of student revolutionaries, firing them up to fight. he should have a powerful, low voice. it just doesn't sound right singing a battle cry in near falsetto. it should sound like this. (the guy in the sweet vest who starts around 25 seconds.)

but who am i to judge. maybe this will all get sorted out when we hit the stage and start developing the actual plot and characters.

for now, a steady diet of oj, water and lozenges. so i can hit that damn "becaaame."

on ....

*frustrated sigh*

my mood just took a divebomb.

i had spent the better of the last at least hour-and-a-half writing and when i go to save it, it just disappears.

was really happy with what i had written, too.

no use in trying to re-do it right now.

....

fuck.